I feel in my own body like a stranger, as though I no longer recognize myself when I examine the details of my life. It’s as if my physical self has stepped into a time warp while my mental self has grown at a regular pace. I can’t be old enough to father two children, to celebrate my fifth wedding anniversary, to be a grad student. Yet I do, and I am. And it’s overwhelming, the feeling that I’ve been entrusted with too much, that at any moment I could fall short and it’s no longer just me who’s affected. I’m not ready for this, and I keep saying so, yet life never seems to listen. I wish someone would listen.


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